fun finds!

Did you know that you can buy medical equipment at the S&M store? Not saying I know this cause I go to the S&M store but cause I was told this by someone who does. For instance, you know that thing that the dentist holds your mouth open with (you know what I'm talking about if you have gotten any kind of teeth cleaning in the last 20 years)? You can buy that in the S&M store. AND you know that thing the gyno uses to hold you V.J open? You can buy that at the S&M store too (I told my gyno about this while at my annual exam... she was not surprised).  Just wanted to let y'all know.

The End.

they are admired by all.

This happened to me in June of 2008

I go to my old place of employment to visit some friends and coworkers when I run into this guy I used to work with. I guess I would consider him a friend too... we would have lunch together on occasion and chit chat during our breaks. 

Him: Hey (a beautiful stranger)! I didn't think I would see you again before I left for my new job. 

Me: Oh! Well I am happy we got to see each other before you left.

Him: So, (a beautiful stranger), there is something I have wanted to ask you  but didn't think I could cause I didn't think I would see you again. But here you are. So this question might be a little offensive but I really want to ask you cause you were the first person I thought of.

Me: Ok.... go ahead and ask!

Him: So. My friend is wanting to get breast implants and asked me if I knew anyone who had a really good pair and find out from them who their doctor was. I IMMEDIATELY thought of you and was wondering if your breast are fake and who did them.

Me: They are real. Sorry. I have no recommendations. 

Him: OOOOOOHHHHH! I thought they were fake this WHOLE time.  I mean, lets just get this straight. All guys look at women's boobs. No matter how professional they are. So...

Me: Ok? Um. I feel really weird right now that you asked me that. What can I say to that?

So yeah. I tried to laugh the whole thing off and not make a big deal about it but hmmmmmmm. Sexual harassment? Just throwing it out there, people. 

Done.

lover behind bars

So two days ago, I get this phone call from a 800 number. Because it's a 800 number, I decide to pick it up...it could be an important or something.  

Me: Hello?

Phone: HELLO. YOU HAVE RECEIVED A COLLECT CALL FROM " I love you, baby"  AT THE MCCLENNEN COUNTY PRISON.  YOUR SERVICE PROVIDER....

Me: Click

O.K..............random. Who would call me from jail? I hang out with a goodie two shoes crowd or at least the kind of people that don't do anything "too" illegal.  AND who would say their name is " I love you, baby". That's pretty stupid if you ask me. I thought it was a one time incident so I brushed it off and kept on going. 

The next day, same thing happens again. Three times.  By this point I started feeling really bad for the guy. I mean, this poor soul is trying to get in contact with his "baby" but doesn't realize he has the wrong number and is calling me instead. Sigh.  

After the third phone call, I decided to call my brother to make sure he was not in jail. I mean, if he were, I don't think he would answer his cellphone. But he does. And he is not in jail. Thank goodness. While talking my brother, I found out it's all a huge scam, this collect call prison thing. An inmate calls your phone collect and after you accept the call, the prison saves the number and the inmate can now make phone calls all over the country charging your phone. I'm not sure of the details but my brother told me that's how it works.

El Fin.

my life is like a fruitcake, it makes no sense.

So today I went to the bookstore. I hadn't been in a long time... I wanted to meander through the books, smell their newness, caress their soft pages. You know, make sweet sweet love to them. Anyways, after picking up this book called Honolulu to read the front jacket, the lady standing next to me starts talking to me. The conversation went as follows:

Her: so you like drinking bottled water?

Me: Um... I don't care. I just like drinking water.

Her: Have you ever heard of {random water name} water?

Me: No. Is it bad or something?

Her: No. Me, my sister and my mother are endorsing it. I was wondering if you would like to try some...we are doing taste test.

My inner monologue: Where is the water?

Me: Where is the water? Where do people taste said water? You have samples?

Her: No. But i'm here everyday. So you can stop by and get some later. Can I give you my contact info so you can call me later and we can set something up?

Me: Oh. I guess, um...sure! Let me have your business card and I will tell people that I know who love drinking bottled water to give you a call

Her: Well...I have no business cards. But here is my contact info. Do you mind if I get your info too? I like to know who is calling me.

Me: No. I don't like giving out my number to strangers. Sorry! But give me your info.

After she gave me her number and walked away, I wanted to "laugh out loud" but I couldn't cause that would be rude. I later saw her again while reading a magazine and was able to take a quick snap of her.

So. How random was that? If you said completely then you are correct.

Here is a picture of the lady. She's rounding the corner of the magazine shelf wearing a white shirt.

my first blog. ever.

So, I love reading other people's blogs. So much so, i decided to create my own. I doubt any one will read but whatever. Im doing it for me, dammit!

welcome.